Your Name: Darshan Andrews
Surro Baby’s Date of Birth: Dec 30/2012
Why did you decide to become a surrogate mother? I have always wanted to be a surrogate…even before I had my own children, I felt like it was something I wanted to do. I don’t know why I felt this way, but I had even made it clear to my hubby (at the time, bf) that it was something I wanted to do, and if given the chance, I would. Maybe its weird, but its just something Ive always felt in my heart and soul, I was supposed to do. There really wasn’t a particular reason…just….a feeling deep inside.
How did your family/children/support people react when you told them you wanted to be a surrogate mother? I am so incredibly lucky to have the family and friends that I have. Not once, had I ever had anything negative said to me. And those that are important in my life, were all very very supportive. My sweet kids were very excited and my oldest daughter was so affected by it, she has said she wants to be a surrogate. Ive had nothing but support!!! At the same time, I don’t think it was a shock to anyone…they all knew it was something I wanted to do!!
What did you enjoy most about your surrogate pregnancy?There isn’t anything I didn’t enjoy!!! I loved every minute about it! I loved how my IP’s and I came to meet…I loved how we wanted the same things…I loved how involved they were (from the transfer to delivery and everything in between). I loved recording my belly moving and sending it to mom and dad so they could see. And I loved seeing their reaction to seeing their baby on the first ultrasound, its teeny tiny heart, beating away. I really enjoyed learning about the process…about what the egg donor went through, how the eggs are fertilized and everything else that goes along with it. It was a fascinating process.
Pregnancies are not always smooth sailing, what pregnancy related issues did you experience and how did you cope with them. Example-morning sickness.Ive always had heartburn in pregnancy and so Im used to coping with that. But what was new, was the increasing blood pressure in the last few weeks. It kept creeping up and up until I ended up being told I would be induced the next day. Thankfully I went into labour on my own that evening. But that was something new and I just went with it and hoped for a great outcome. I knew I was in excellent hands with my midwives
When your surro baby was born, what were your first thoughts, what did you say to the Intended Parents, what was the mood in the L&D room?Oh my goodness….the delivery of Hazel was the most amazing thing ever. When I saw babe in her moms arms for the first time, I was so overwhelmed with emotion…mom looking at me in the face with the most incredible amount of love Ive never seen before. I remember hearing her yell “My baby!!!! My baby” as babe came from me, and into her waiting hands and when I looked down, the look of pure elation on her face. I kept saying how beautiful she was…I just couldn’t stop saying that. And my IPs repeatedly saying to us “Thank you….Thank you”. It was really amazing. The mood cannot really be explained because it was so many emotions all mixed in together…its unlike anything in the world.
Having been through your journey, what are your plans now, is there another journey on the horizon, are you going back to school, are you focusing on family?I am very much looking forward to a sibling journey that will happen in about a year from now, and providing that goes well too, and I am healthy and good to do it again, I would love to carry a baby for a gay couple. I want to help a couple of men become dads…I think it would be so different, but also similar and I would like to experience that!!!
Are there any additional comments you would like to share? I would just like to add that for anyone considering surrogacy (IPs or potential surros), go for it…take the plunge. But hold out for the right surro or IPs and you can be a part of the most amazing life changing event that you could go through. For the IPs…I know you would have preferred to carry your own baby. I understand (as best as I can for someone who hasn’t been through infertility) that its devastating…and your hearts ache with pain at times. Take comfort in knowing that your surrogate wants you to feel that joy of becoming a parent and we want to take the best care of your little bean, as if they were ours. And it brings us immense joy, to see the elation on your face when you see your baby for the first time. Potential surrogates…know that surrogacy will change your life…for the better. Surrogacy has changed my life so much. It has made me a better person. And it has changed my children too. It has introduced me to a whole new family, a whole new community of people and shown me what love and kindness can bring. It has shown me just how big a persons heart can be… surros and IPs. IPs have to have incredible trust in their surros and that takes something special, in my opinion. My IM couldn’t have said it better when she said to me in a private letter… referring to myself and the egg donor : “I wanted to be able to tell my baby that she was born into this world by the generosity of the human spirit and that she is a gift to be celebrated and that her birth is a miracle.” And it certainly was…in so many ways.